Far Away From Home

日常生活，總係離唔開偷呃拐騙，只係視乎程度深遠同你知唔知道。警訊常客往往都係本地人，但其實遊客同外地人都經常比人呃，而往往因為佢地比普通人闊綽，出事後又無從哭訴，所以佢地頭上面好似鑿住個「水魚」兩隻字。

話說 Lo 去旅行，見到有條友大肆宣傳有平價海鮮靚蝦食，只係六蚊斤！平到！不過水路幾遠，要坐佢地專車去食，都唔知係咪賣豬仔？不過既然咁平，咪試下囉。二話不說，梗係坐呢家店既專車去食。

坐到屁股開花，到咗，搵野食先算。

老闆：「六蚊斤賣晒！」
Lo：「下？賣晒？咁仲有咩食？」
老闆：「呢啲、呢啲同呢啲。」
Lo：「點賣呀？」
老闆：「四十八，五十八同八十八蚊斤。」
Lo：「岩岩之前有人問係二十八同三十八咋喎！」
老闆：「嗰啲係熟客！」

呢啲咪叫海鮮價（任佢講）！我呢啲咪水魚囉（蠢人）！

荒山野嶺，似乎呢餐唔食都無機會走喇！唉！

At heights, with Lemon Grass in my hands and a view over PuDong, I look outside.

The Bund (外灘). It offers the most spectacular cityscape of Shanghai, and in one way reminds me of the Victoria Harbour (維多利亞港) in Hong Kong. At NanJingDongRoad (南京東路), the Oriental Pearl Tower (東方明珠塔) stands over at LuJiaZui (陸家嘴), accompanied by several skyscrapers that exist no where more than a decade ago. A few blocks ahead lies the very first hotel in Shanghai, the Peace Hotel (和平飯店), and down there a stretching lane for tourists to stroll.

Along the coastline, every building is classified as First-Class Heritage, and will probably remain then. History, testimonies of the past, now are banks and bars. Each of the buildings amounts to billions CNY. As I asked, the coastline buildings range from some millions to hundred millions per apartment CNY. Ummm.

The passers-by were mostly foreigners. Foreigners, yes, almost all. If you are afraid that you cannot get into the venue because you are a Chinese, here is the de facto solution : Respond in English or Cantonese “What?”, or Mandarin in heavy accent. I assure you it works great unless you are in doublets or shorts for guys.

Where I am now, are filled with rich history. Sitting here, my friends and I were enjoying our drinks and chatting over our past, and my latrine experience. We talk about everything, and the cityscape view beside. Disappointing for one fact, the lights in Shanghai go out at ten sharp, which is rather early for such a city. Next time I will come earlier. Then, I wonder, where should I go next? The other side overlooking this side?

I was shown not the best view tonight of Shanghai. But for a moment, I fell in love with this metropolis.

長年居住於港澳兩地的我，能操一口流利且生動有趣廣東話，既然遠渡而來上海，我家公司又特別多勤奮好學之士，曾長居東方拉斯維加斯，且不是甚麼 ABC ( American Born Chinese )，加上一點背景，我的港式廣話變成了公司友人間的一個標準，並自命為上海朋友間的廣東話傳教士，其實是聲音版的「認字特警」。

話說昨夜，我以及一名在加國長大的港人、還有一名廿多年居於米國的港人司機、與及他的廣州汕頭長大的女朋友，一行四人喝飽吃醉之後，除了駕車的司機，大家都因少量酒精變得更健談起來。四人之中，我的語彙應算是最為豐富及港式，能操最潮之語的人也就非我莫屬。

加國人：「嘩！好食好食！咁都係全世界一百幾廿蚊，抵到爛 [1]！」

女朋友：「無介紹錯呢！」

加國人：「無！仲要我地計埋六『瓶』啤酒！抵玩！」

我：「六『樽』、或者六『支』。」

加國人與女朋友齊道：「下？」

我：「廣東話係唔講六『瓶』，六『樽』、或者六『支』先岩[2]。寫出來先至係 [3] 六『瓶』！」

加國人：「哦！六樽！好！六樽！六支！」

所以，我也要努力自我增值，睇膠登加強潮語能力。

以上都是吳江路小吃街的點滴，現在再貼多一幅吳江路的小楊生煎，是來上海必吃的一家小吃，皮脆可口、肉香汁多。圖片僅剩下兩只，皆因太好吃，忘了拍照。可想而知，不可不吃！

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[1] - 「抵到爛 」為「很值得很便宜很划算」，譬方「三元十六件小籠包！抵到爛！」。「抵」先「值」的相約意思。

[2] - 「唔」為「不」的意思。「先」可以解為「才」。「岩」是「對」的意思。「先岩」＝「才對」。

[3] -  「先至係」為「才正是」的意思，譬方「他這種態度，先至係沒禮貌！」。

No, I did not see Snakes, Leopards or Tigers. Moreover, I have never seen a proper stratus sea, sunset, starry night, milky way, comets and sunrise.

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Stratus Sea

If the clouds are just sunlight shades, think again. Stand just below the clouds. Stand just above the clouds. Stand right into the clouds! Try it. Try it once, at least once. Then add it together with some hills and mountains peeking through, and then let the orange paint the rest of the picture. Feel it…

Sunset

“The sunset is most fabulous, yet the sky hits dusk.”, an old poem in Chinese. The setting sun is great, yet it does not last long. This makes it precious. Afterall, a forever setting sun is not that romantic. It is fabulous not only because it is spectacular, but that it lasts only brief moments. Get a home with a sunset…?

Starry Night

The inhabitants in Macau and Hong Kong are lucky in many ways. Yet, most of them do not have the slightest chance of a clear starry night with uncountable stars twinkling all night. I always mocked those poets and people who make shapes of the starry nights, which is something so abstract it is a fooling act. Here, I no longer see a clear picture of each single constellation, but a mixture of everything in a whole picture, lying on the grasslands. Now, I no longer feel wanting to mock the poets.

Milky Way

However, stars itself is not enough. If a dozen of stars makes a starry night for you, you have missed the river up the sky - The Milky Way. This mysterious river at night is only visible whilst light is at its minimum. Without the Milky Way, the starry night has just lacked its own background with a dull dark background, and leaving a horde of less distinguishable light bulbs up high. With it, the romance also slips in, completing the legendary picture for the average metropolitans. Show me the Milky Way in Macau and Hong Kong!

Comets

What could have made the milky-way backgrounded stars twinkling night better? Comet. Comets. Yes! I saw comets, not just a comet. Two makes a plural. I hope I can wish fast enough, but I definitely caught offguard. I wish…

Sunrise

The emerging warmth stops the shivering. A sky so beautiful, you can hardly find one in the cities in general. Just look at this sky painted in such warmth. Until then…

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No, I did not see Snakes, Leopards or Tigers. But now I have seen a proper stratus sea, sunset, starry night, milky way, comets and sunrise. Onto something next!

( Courtesy of Zhe for the Sunrise and Stratus Sea, my camera out of memory. For the nightly visions, my camera is not the right tool. I really want to share to you all! )

The latrine stinks. If you feel bad about them, I can assure you that they are. With the latrine, you can almost associate it with a bucket or a hole, housed in a Chinese-style inn. What is your idea of a typical historic Chinese hillside inn?

I was hiking in WuGongShang (武功山) in JiangXi (江西) province last few days. It is not the worst place to be in, but certainly a challenge to my bottomline in hygiene standards for a vacation. I am especially bothered by the idea of having to use a latrine, which is stinky and dirty, but is prevalent in China. There is no escape. The usual clean sitting toilet is a rare occurrence in such places especially at the mountain top. As the trip lasts five days, the latrine is basically inevitable. Man, I will pay for a clean sitting toilet!

The first latrine I saw in ShenJiaDaiYuan inn (沈家大院) is a complete resemblance with those in movies. It is built with wooden planks and definitely has no electrical or automatic flushing capabilities, though its door is made of modern technology - a piece of plastic cloth. Well, that is all, and inside … a bucket of brown matter. I thought that falling off the abysmal hillside is a more pleasant experience than using this legendary facility.

The ShenJiaDaiYuan inn is built with, as you might have expected, bamboo sticks and wooden planks. The wind penetrates the gaps of the wall, and you can peek through the holes as well. The bed was hard as rock, and supplied with blankets that are never washed. Unlike in movies, it is so poorly furnished that the bed and a small cupboard are the only decoration available, and four people share a room. I think I just need a “Mr.Two” (店小二) ! [1]

The next inn called FayunJie (發雲界) that I lived in is even worse. It is a simple brick room with moldy walls, and then again supplied with bunk beds and blankets unwashed for some years. The wooden beds squeak like they are going to collapse right on top of me when I am asleep. The latrine this time is better, but I tried very hard to use only when necessary. *winks*

The food up there are just to fill the stomach in general. It is quite different from that of the Southern China cuisine - potatos and bell peppers cut in strips ( not French fries ) cooked together, and eggplant sliced in rings cooked with “something I do not know” are unseen styles in GuangDong. The taste is just barely for the mouth, but it is not the idea anyway. And that chicken running around costs CNY147! I thought I got robbed.

There is a Chinese saying that “You paid for suffering”. That is almost like what I was doing, but the whole trip is actually very rewarding despite the horrifying experience above, and I have not even talked about the moments of zen yet : the starry nights with clear milky way and the sun over the stratus clouds. There are so many things to explore than to have a staycation at home sometimes.

Lastly, a bonus photo of a sweet couple!

Far Away From Home - where do you want to go?

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[1] - 店小二. A generic term for the waiters in an inn in China in the old days.